I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
