Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
