Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You ruined the universe
Randomize
