All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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