who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize