now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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