it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
