Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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