Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
