its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
