The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize