Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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