I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Holy shit dude........stairs
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
