You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
did i just pee glitter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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