Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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