i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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