Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
