i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize