I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Your cock deserves a montage
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
