If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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