I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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