Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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