Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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