dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
this is an emotional support booty call
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
