Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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