Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
