we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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