Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
