3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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