Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
