New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
