You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
