I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
