We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
