oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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