is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize