What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
