I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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