I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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