I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
