i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
