think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
