She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
