Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
