Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
