i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
