sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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