bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
