You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
