Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just pee around me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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