i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
