If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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