saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
