I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
