tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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