with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this beer tastes like vomit already
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
