Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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