oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
