I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
