Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
