i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
