i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
