I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
